I just need to get it all out? [Pretty much a rant about my life]?

By all means if you don't wanna hear my rantin' about my life, don't read this.


It'll be fairly long and I'll probably sound like a suicidal chick. Well I'm not. I've thought suicidal thoughts before, but never even tried to attempt them.


I guess I should start with my social life.


I've never had a boyfriend, I'm 14, and I've never even been asked out. Don't judge me but I'm I guess you could call it ';above average'; on the weight issue. But I'm currently fixing that. Well trying. Anyways I've been teased throughout elementary school for that, and also for my yellowish teeth which are becoming whiter. It was hurtful all the way till 4th grade, when I moved schools. It was a school in Chinatown, and I was the only white person in the class. When I got there, I thought everything was going to change, but it didn't. It got worse. They spread rumors, talked behind my back, told the teacher I cheated on tests in reality I didn't, but they assumed I did because I'm white. It was hell, until 6th grade, where I got 3 friends. From 4th-6th I had all of 1 friend from my old school who I hardly spoke to anymore. Those 3 friends became my best friends. One of them and I became particularly close, and we were always talking/hanging out until 8th grade. Then one day I get mad at her because I asked her to bring my Spanish book home, [I was absent that day] And I'd go to her house and pick it up. She responded with a flat out ';no.'; Take in mind we were the best of friends. Her excuse was because she had a math textbook and it would be too heavy. So after that I wouldn't talk to her. But after a week I started talking to her, but she was giving me attitude and then she started ignoring me. We haven't talked since, And that's been about 5 months ago. I miss her. A lot. I need someone to talk to about so much right now, but nobody will really listen.


Anyways about my other 2 best friends. One of them goes to a different school and we hang out occasionally. We're still best friends. We had plans to go to a DewTour on Saturday, but they both said they didn't wanna last minute. Even though they know how much I wanted to go. So about my other best friend. She's probably the closest friend I have. About a month and a half ago though, she got a boyfriend. Oh boy how I hate relationships. They ruin everything. She started calling him at night instead of me. Canceling plans with me so she can hang out with him. Sleeping over his house for weeks and not even bothering to text/call/IM me throughout ANY of those days. I told her about this and she complained that she always has to start the convo. Even though whenever I DID call her, she was too busy getting funky with him. And that'd just piss me off so much because she doesn't listen to me AT ALL when she's with him. I was talking to her last night, while she was sleeping over, and I told her this whole story, then today I talk to her, and make a comment about that story, and she's like ..';What story?';


It's like talking to a wall =\


She always chooses him over me, and I'm sick of it because she knows basically she's all I have.


My mom and I always get into fights, like physical fights. But she doesn't hurt me too bad, because we usually just get so mad we slap, kick, hit, etc as hard as we can. But I defend myself well.


Also, The ONLY living thing I could rely on, my cat, is missing.


She's an outdoor/indoor cat, but as of Monday morning, we haven't seen her. It's been nearly 5 days, raining 4/5 of them, and nobody has seen her. I'm so sad about this...Not even sad, more like heartbroken. I've cried and still am so much these few days. I really want my cat back. :\


Thennn today happened too.


I have this summer job, which is basically an art class.


Lucky me, everyone in this class thing is 17+ and only 2 others are female whom of which are all over the guys. There's only about 10 people total. So today, I'm sitting there doing Origami like the teacher guy told me to. Then I feel this sharp pain in my right arm. This [not to be racist] black guy and his ';friends'; [Again not to be racist but you know how when guys get together and they do stupid stuff? Black guys in particular. NOT ALL. But the ones in my area. The hoodlums?] are throwing stuff at my arm. First scissors, then a tape roll, then pens, then pencils. While I'm just sitting there, with my back turned to them, making Origami. Literally everyone there was laughing. Including the teacher guy. I can't really tell anybody about it, because there's not really any ';higher official'; that works there. Only one guy had this sympathetic look on his face, and to distract me showed me his drawing. But it really hurt to get a red, swollen arm and to get laughed at, for what, no reason?


So I told my ';best friend'; the story of my cat and what happened today, and she said ';WOW HAHA SHE'S DEAD!'; ...


I can't even describe words I had. I flipped out on her. Thennn I was trying to calm down, and I said ';Ugh my life is just a pilI just need to get it all out? [Pretty much a rant about my life]?
Oohman girl : / Thats a lot.... I think that writing is definitely a way for you to get your frustrations out...you're good at writing.





Teenage years are tough...we've all been there. But it willll get better! Its just a lot to handle... You should try joining an after school club or play or hobby...thats always a better way of making friends. The friends you're hanging out with now seem a little shady...I don't know if I would trust them very much. I'm sorry to hear about your cat...you should see if you can maybe work at an animal shelter or something, instead? Its a good summer/afterschool job %26amp; you can probably find a new cat there...%26amp; friendlier people :)





Keep your chin up! You'll be ok :)I just need to get it all out? [Pretty much a rant about my life]?
how can some one just say '; get over it'; like a tool.... your obviously not feeling to well.... see a counselor for now girl :) tell him everything you wrote here
GET THE **** OVER IT
I feel bad for you :((((((


and the person who commented before me sucks a**.


I dont' know what to tell you... :(


therapy might be nice, to have someone to vent to


get another pet, even though you may not want to have to move on


but it'd be nice for you


find some comfort object, and i know that sounds weird, like ';get a blanky'; or something, but it helps to cry into a stuffed animal or something
Okay. Advice. Write in a journal. Give your friends some space, You'll be boy crazy one day too. And life gets worse trust me. Handling these issues now will help you deal with things in the future. Especially when you get boy crazy, They'll mess you up like nothing else. Focus on the good things in your life. People are drawn to people that enjoy life and That's the little things like being thankful for what you have and screw the things you don't.
Do you want suggestion? Do you have any questions?





I want to help but dont know if you want help or just to get it out....
first of all if i was you at that art class today i would of told those guys to f*** off!!!!! then about the ';best friend'; thing if she can't make time to hang with you then don't bother hanging out with her there are sooooo many other people that you could hang out with and then about your mom. my step dad is like mean but like he just play hits me and i found that the best thing to do is just to ignore him/her if she talks to you try to avoid talking to much and try to like not be home so much that's why you need to find a really good friend someone that you can hang out with all the time and you can basically be sisters with. ok well hope i helped : )
look im 14 too if u wanna talk add me on myspace or shoot me an email ma myspace email is youngmeindanyc@aim.com if u want shoot me and email im here for u