Definition; Respect (Sorry but it's long and I do kinda rant a bit)?

I keep being told by my family that I have no respect for people. I ask them ';What is respect? Define it for me and I'll give it to you.'; They can't give me a definition that I can't lump in with slavery, blackmail or fear.





They say respect is:


Doing as your told (Slavery)


Not questioning (Slavery and Fear)


Going places to make it seem like we're happy (Blackmail and Slavery)


Being nice to people who don't deserve it (Slavery and Fear, fear of consequences)


I'm not to correct an adult (Even when they're completely wrong. I've taken to printing internet pages to prove things)





Refusing to do things for people or even just saying No is considered disrespectful to them.





Basically, doing what makes people happy even if I'm not. Appearances mean A LOT to them. They can't just accept that I'm happy doing my own thing, there's only so many times you can eat a BBQ ed sausage before you don't want anymore. As strange as it sounds to most people, they actually encourage me to drink and smoke whilst I'm still underage. Well mum doesn't encourage smoking but she has no problem with me drinking. I'm quite happy not to. Yes I know I should love the fact that they allow me to do things that most people don't but I almost always end up pissed off because they keep pouring me drinks I don't want or even drink anyway. They want 'respect' but then encourage me to break laws I actually abide by. Is it just me or do I have a F***ed up family.





Should I conform to their version of respect and do as they all tell me?





As teens and parents of teens, should I just do as they say or do you agree with me?





They're all crazy morons who want the opposite of what I am. Which is pretty much a law abiding person who doesn't wish to partake in their charade?





Do you think I have respect where it matters?Definition; Respect (Sorry but it's long and I do kinda rant a bit)?
According to my dictionary the meaning of respect is: esteem for or a sense of the worth or excellence of a person, a personal quality or ability, or something considered as a manifestation of a personal quality or ability.





In normal language though, and this is how I've broken it down for my six year old, respect is showing that you care and admire a person for their actions and personality. Personally, if your family is encouraging you to drink and smoke at a young age they don't really deserve respect because they are trying to get you to 1) do things you don't care to do 2) break the law and 3) do yourself harm by taking in harmful toxins.





It sounds like they want blind obedience. I don't know your particular situation, but in any family there should be give and take, especially with teenage children. Yes, they want you to do this thing...so in return they shouldn't make you do that thing. My daughter is only six and we don't blackmail her to behave the way we want, naturally we don't put up with defiant or rude behavior, but we also expect her to express how she feels about things. If she's done something wrong (lying, bullying her younger cousins, etc.) we will discipline and if she wants to stamp her foot and say she's mad, then by all means do so. It doesn't mean that her punishment is going to change, just that she can tell us how she feels about it.





Good luck with your family, hon. Eventually, you will be an adult and it won't matter what they say or do you'll be able to do as you please. Until then, just hang in there!Definition; Respect (Sorry but it's long and I do kinda rant a bit)?
';Basically, doing what makes people happy even if I'm not.';





Yup, that's about it. Having respect for someone means not doing exactly what you want all the time, but instead considering how other people will feel if you do or say or don't do it and avoiding it if it will upset them.





Blackmail or slavery or fear? Hardly. When you respect someone, you take their feelings into consideration above your own desires out of your own free will, because it's the right thing to do. At seventeen, you really should be beyond having to be told to do this. So what if you would be happier doing your own thing? You think adults always get to do their own thing?





You don't want the alcohol? Take one sip and hold onto your glass. They can't fill up a glass with no space at the top. They're wrong? Smile and ignore them. People in authority over you will be wrong all the time, in situations where correcting them would be completely inappropriate. Right now I'm afraid you just come over as an arrogant kid who thinks you know it all and are far better than them.
I don't know if you show respect for any one or not. You rant borders on being just like every other teens way of looking at things.


My son is respectful to me. He does what he's asked with out a bunch of crap. He treats his sister well. He listens to adult whether he agrees with them or not.


He also is allowed to talk to me or disagree with my decisions. He does what I say and then will talk to me. If he has an issue he comes to me and we talk it out and figure out what to do. I listen to him and he knows that. If he just starts acting defiant I don't talk to him. I tell him.


Respect goes both ways. There is a time and place to discuss a difference of opinion. At the time it comes up is not it. Plan when to speak about your issues and have Information to back your position. Not my friends or I thinks.