Does anyone else out there have a prankster for a husband? (Warning: long rant!)?

Okay, here's the deal. My husband and I have been together almost 10 years, married for 6. We have a blended family that includes three children.





Long story short, he's driving me bananas.





At least two or three times, every single day, he plays pranks on me. These include such lame things as sneaking up on me in the shower and yelling ';RAR'; so loud that I jump out of my skin, calling me at work and pretending to be someone else (i.e. ';this is the chocolate factory. Your order is ready...), knocking on the wall so I think someone is knocking at the door, saying embarrassing things to me very loudly in a crowded store (i.e. ';those tampons you are buying are soooo huge!! How will we fit them in?';), and pulling down my pajama pants every time I walk by. Oh, those are just a few of his tactics. I never know what he's got up his sleeve.





He's always played pranks since I've known him, but have happened more and more frequently as the years have gone on. I can enjoy the occasional prank as well as anyone, but c'mon, it's gotten out of control. I'm always on the lookout for what he's planning next. It's exhausting. And he's no kid. The man is 35 for crying out loud. I feel like he's my fourth child and definitely the worst behaved!





Can anyone give me some tips for dealing with this or getting him to tone it down a bit? I really am at my wit's end. The first two or three times it was funny. 56,000 times later, not so much.





I just envision the two of us in wheelchairs in the rest home and my husband will be plotting how to sneak over to unlock the brakes on my wheelchair so I take a wild, crazy ride down the wheelchair ramp. Will the madness ever end!?!





So, short of tasering him within one inch of his life, how can I get him to stop or keep his pranks to a minimum. Please don't say talk to him about it. I have until I'm blue in the face and he just laughs and it seems to egg him on. Any other suggestions appreciated. Even revenge. Yes. I've come to that point.





Thanks for reading my long rant and please help me out here people!!Does anyone else out there have a prankster for a husband? (Warning: long rant!)?
I'm wondering if your husband's behaviour is not simply abuse. Try reading the book by Lundy Bancroft: Why does he do that? Inside the minds of angry and controlling men. Also, a book about boundaries would be helpful, you could try, When to say yes, when to say no, to take control of your life, by Townsend and Cloud. You deserve to be well treated.Does anyone else out there have a prankster for a husband? (Warning: long rant!)?
Honestly, I'd do nothing except walk out of the house and run off somewhere for 24 hours. Take the kids if you need to, but just leave. Okay maybe not 24 hours, but just remove yourself. This isn't funny, and neither is he.
BAHAHA he sounds like Michael from The Office!!!
My advice? LAUGH!





Sorry, I'm the prankster in my house. The element of surprise keeps us both young! :D
lol


my GF is just like him


she pants me and stuff


but i love her so i forgive


her








i say you start doing the same


like if he buys condoms


say THOSE CONDOMS ARE TO BIG 4 YOU lol
Mine is a prankster, but not daily like yours. But, sad news is, he's much older than your husband and hasn't changed. I would go with revenge. And, when he scares you, make it a knee jerk reaction to punch him. That will stop some of that. Mine used to like to stick his finger in my mouth when I yawned. I bit it a few times. That stopped that one. It can be done, you just have to get creative with your reactions. As far as the store, don't buy those things when he's around, or tell him you don't want to be seen at the store with him b/c he'll behave worse than the kids there.
Firstly - He sounds like a funny, loving guy. I think most people will enjoy your husband to a certain point.





My husband used to be like that - at times even worse. Then something happened: He was having fun on a quad bike and drove it into a wall. We immediately ran to him to check if he was okay. It looked like he was passed out, but always being the prankster, none of us believed that he really got hurt and thought that he was joking AGAIN.





I teased and said that I'm going to phone the ambulance service, then I threw dirt in his mouth (thinking that this will make him respond and stop acting). We moved him around, turned him on his side ect (things that can really injure a person in this situation). The call went through to the ambulance service and still he didn't do anything. It was only then that I discovered that he wasn't acting like always.





I was in a panic because all I could think of is how I'm going to explain the dirt in his mouth and nose when they come to take him to hospital. Luckily for him he didn't sustain any serious injuries and was taken for a mild concussion. After that - he turned the brakes on pranks, because it backfired on him.





The point that I'm trying to make - never cry wolf. The one time that he's going to need you to believe him, you're not going to.
Could be worse. You could be married to me. LOL.





He keeps doing it because however wearisome you find it sometimes, basically you love it. Fundamentally the challenge of every marriage--that exactly those things that draw us to someone are eventually gonna become those things that drive us crazy. The only thing that I can suggest is to look at what it is you're doing to enable--whether some of what you're putting out encourages him, and changing your own behavior at times to channel his.





Either that or keep a bucket of water next to the bed for the next time you wake up with a flaming match between your toes....LOL!
Tell him you need to have a serious talk. Then when the 2 of you are alone tell him you've been having an affair with someone else and you are pregnant with his child. Then after he's so upset tell him it was just a prank to show him how much his pranks bother you. good luck!
sounds awful. maybe you should just print this rant out and show him that he's driven you insane to the point of asking strangers online how to deal with your relationship.





or maybe tell him you've went to the doctor's and discovered that you've developed some exotically rare neurotically related nerve disorder due to the frequent stress of dealing with his pranks and that the next sudden prank may lead to a fatal heart attack or stroke. then tell him you're eloping with a less immature man and taking the kids with you.
hahahahaha!!!!!! im so sorry he does that but maybe if you get him back by doing exactly what he does to you. or just ignore it. either way, he cant prank you forever (though the wheelchair thing may come true..) so try to relax, hes just trying to make you laugh. best of luck!
look... my advice is... if you ask him to back off and if he stops YOU WILL MISS IT SOMEDAY.... such behaviour keeps the marriage alive... you just have to see the bright side of it.... i suggest you give him a taste of his own medicine.... seriously think of something.... he will get the hint and sober a lil... right now he is aggressive cause you arent fighting back
Sounds fun - but I guess after awhile it would get a bit stale...I just had to laugh because it reminded me of some of the crazy pranks my husband did (long ago when we were first married): when he came to pick me up one day from work, every time I would reach for the door handle he would move the car just out of my reach - did this about 10x in a row, very annoying! Also embarrassed the h*ll out of me one Sat. morning, I was taking the laundry to the central bldg. of our apartment complex where the machines were %26amp; had to walk across this huge parking area. It was early but there were some guys in the lot %26amp; he SCREAMS out from our apartment window ';you get up here %26amp; put your panties back on!'; I almost died I was so embarrassed!





Sorry I don't have any suggestions on how to make your hubby stop except to tell him that it's seriously starting to bother you, but thx for the laughs. Good luck!
My husband is a little like that too, although not near to the extent that yours is. My advice is, pretend like it doesn't bother you. Probably if he doesn't get a rise out of you, it will take the fun out of it for him. Next time you put your pj's on, put a pair of long johns or something under them so he doesn't get a free show, and when he pulls them down, simply stop, pull them back up, and don't say one word. Just go on about your business. Once it isn't fun for him anymore, he will probably knock it off.
you could even tell him that for every prank he does to you, you're going to do something 3x's worse 3x's. he pulls your pajama pants down? pull his pants down in public three times. he yells ';those tampons are so huge!';? you yell ';i wish we could get the x-large condoms, but...[looking to his crotch]...guess not!'; 3 times.





you may have to keep it up because i'm sure he will up his games too, but in the end, one of you will get tired and you CANT let it be you. wear him down with foolishness. when you see him finally getting tired of it, say ';SEE how you make ME feel?? Can we call a truce??';
I get caught up pulling a few things on my wife that I hear about, but I feel that your husband has gone way over the top. He's done things that I would be embarrassed to have witnessed. But you are up a tree, and the sad part is he is passing along a very bad trait to your kids. They will not know what is appropriate behavior with a role model like that. Do you have a good friend that you can confide in that your husband might listen to? It may be one of the few ways out of this. The other is consoling. That would be better if he would go, but then he doesn't see it as a problem, does he. It does come under the heading of verbal abuse. Wave that under his nose and see if he can get a good sniff of it. Otherwise for your own health and that of your children you might have to leave for him to get the message. He's not 16 anymore. good luck
You might have to accept that you've married a clown. But you could still try drawing a line - for instance, he shouldn't be embarrassing you in public. And pulling down your pants? I am going to assume there's no kids around for that! Have you considered pranking him back? Or would he think it's funny? This is such a sucky situation - he thinks he's being funny, so if you chew him out for it, then he can just say ';Oh, i'm joking, you can't take a joke!'; Damn him for putting you in this spot!





I don't know if any of my advice will be anything resembling helpful, but for what's it's worth, i feel your pain!