Problem with boyfriends mum - what would you do if you were me? (sorry, bit of a rant!)?

My boyfriend %26amp; I have an 8 wk old son. Since he was born my boyfriends mum has only seen him twice. The first time we brought him over to hers on Christmas day (when he was 5 days old) %26amp; she just spent the whole time complaining that her family had spoilt her day because she wanted to have her dinner early %26amp; couldn't now because they were all turning up later than they had said. When my boyfriends grandmother turned up she spent most of the time arguing with her, so little interest was shown in our baby. The second time she saw him was when he was 5 weeks old %26amp; my boyfriend brought him over. I decided not to go because I was annoyed with her. We are living with my parents at the moment while we wait to get a place of our own again, so they spend a lot of time helping out with their grandson.


My boyfriends mother only lives about 15 mins away, and though she doesn't drive she could get a bus or cab over but doesn't bother. What really annoys me is she just doesn't seem interested!Problem with boyfriends mum - what would you do if you were me? (sorry, bit of a rant!)?
I personally would make the effort to see her. I think family is very important. You should always have big love for family. She is getting old and it is exhausting to move about and if she can't drive it is a hassle to take a cab or bus. I understand she doesn't ask much about the baby but the baby still deserves his Grandma. The only thing you can do is what your boyfriend is doing and that is to take the baby to her. But, I would not do it on and off like that. It is your choice to cut her out, but if you do it should be permanent. It is not right to take someone in and out of a young childs life.Problem with boyfriends mum - what would you do if you were me? (sorry, bit of a rant!)?
Are you sure your mother-in-law isn't related to MY mother-in-;aw? HA!





There are a few reasons why she is like this:


1) she is selfish


2) she will never change


3) she doesn't ';DO'; babies


4) it is HER loss that she will never know your son the way you and your boyfriend do! Be thankful you are loving your son every day and have the opportunity to get to know him. IT IS A BLESSING from GOD to have children. Some people never learn this lesson.


5) invite her to any major events in your son's life, but DO NOT expect to see her. If she doesn't show up, don't be surprised. After all, I've already told you the number one secret to her: (see number 1).





My kids are now 25, 22, and 16. Neither my mother-in-law nor my Mother ever spent more than 30 minutes with any of them in their entire lives, since they were such a ';bother';. Totally THEIR loss. I used to be so upset when I had my first child, but then, I realized secret number 1. It has changed my attitude about them. They will never change.





Good luck, and I am positive your son is fantastic! Give him a hug from me!
i would probably talk to her about it and confront her about how you feel








then again this might make her a leeeeetle angry
I see u got problem with boyfriend----s ........... I got problem with law i want to live my life in british law but there is people forcing us to belive in sharia law in england bradford what to do.
Just go on as if nothing is wrong smile and be sweet remember it your son grandmother and if you fall out with her your son could miss out later.


Dont give her the satisfaction of upsetting your self . invite her to the christning and make her welcome even if it is through gritted teeth
Hi there,





This sounds like quite a frustrating and complicated problem.





His mother clearly has issues with you for some reason. Think carefully about anything you may have done that she might hold a grudge about.





She sounds like a bitter old woman. It sounds like there is no point trying to reason with her.





Your boyfriend must feel stuck in the middle. At least he's done the decent thing and tried to confront her about what her problem is.





I don't think you should exclude her from anything - although I understand why you don't want her around. It will only give her more ammunition - not only will she think you're trying to keep her away from his other baby; but away from her, also.





If you can't speak to her yourself and try to get to the root of the problem, try to take the upper hand. Give her NOTHING to complain about.





Try to suggest meetings between your boyfriend and his other baby and show that you have no problem with his ex, or with his other baby.





Try to rise above his mother's bitching. Don't ***** about her to anyone in the family - including your boyfriend. Don't let her bully you, and of course if you are upset mention it to your boyfriend, but don't badmouth her. If you come across as logical and mature, she is going to come across as more of a *****.





Let his mother and ex cackle away - you're the one he's going to spend his life with.





She SHOULD ask to see her grandchild - but she obviously has a chip on her shoulder. Take the upper hand and actually say ';would you like to see ____ this weekend?'; If you start the ball rolling, it will only look bad on her if she refuses or continues to talk about you.





Honestly - try to rise above it, don't talk about her to your boyfriend (if you currently do) and don't put a foot wrong for the next month. If your behaviour is brilliant, she will only look more and more worse in comparison.





xx Emmie
You're probably going through the same situation as what many young couples are right now.





You are your 'own family unit' now, and as selfish as that seems, you and your boyfriend have three priorities, yourselves, your baby and your b/f's other child, his mum takes the fourth priority, in terms of importance.





His mum has her life, her boyfriend and her routines, and she seems to have her own issues to deal with along these lines, whether they include you or not.





Obviously, there are going to be things said on both sides, that's families for you, and your b/f's ex has probably 'bore the front' of his mums tongue before now, but this doesn't mean that you have to as well, nor does it mean that his mum has to come between you both, or disrupt your household and family.





Ignore her comments, don't let her 'wind you up', wait till she asks to see the baby (she will eventually, because jealousy and interest will consume her regarding the babe and your parents) but say to her, ';anytime you wish to see your grandchild etc';, without making actual dates/plans...





say it 'loud and clear' in front of your b/f then he cannot say you 'haven't tried..then leave it to her.





Things will work out, but don't stress yourself, you're a good mum, who's made every effort, there's nothing more you can do right now.





a sincere friend x
tell her what you told us and see what happens innit?